Friday, 29 August 2008

Putting my house in order

I am putting my own house in order, so I would not be blogging for awhile. I have sent for and received Sharp bedrooms, Moben kitchens and Dolphin bathrooms brochures, looked on websites for sash windows, loft and basement information, getting planning permission. There was a church conference with the likes of TD Jakes, Bill Winston, Tudor Bismark, Junita Byrum, and many others which started on Sunday 24th August to Sunday 30th August, but I will not attend, because I have to put my own house in order. Charity begins at home. So I have removed old bedding, smashed up old furniture, old televisions, threw out old carpets, cleaned, scrubbed, polished and I am still cleaning and looking at more things to throwing out the old, which are like fig trees in my life. I even throw out some things at 12.30 a.m in the early hours in the morning. It had to go. As you say, I am in the middle of de-cluttering my house, my life and me.
Deuteronomy 6:11-12 And houses full of all good things, which thou fillest not and wells digged, which thou diggedst not, vineyards and olive trees, which thou plantedst not; when thou shall have eaten and be full;

Then beware lest thou forget the Lord, which brought thee forth out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.

My version Dear Lord El Shadda, according to your words : Deuteronomy 6:11-12. I thank you, that I am able to fill my house and my other house, which I will get in the future, with all good things, the sharp bedrooms, the mobed kitchens, dolphin bathrooms, the loft and basement being done and have my fridge and wardrobes stocked with all good things to eat and wear and the money to pay for the very best.

I thank you Lord, that I can think big and you have brought me out of a poverty mindset. I thank you for being my Jehovah Jireh and providing me with all these things and more, in Jesus Name Amen.

Thursday, 7 August 2008

You can have it all, why because you are worth it

You can have it all. You always hear that we can't have it all. You can't have your cake and eat it, and have you noticed that whenever a question is asked, would you marry a man who was young and poor or old and rich? We always seem to be faced with one or the other, why can't we marry a man or a woman who was young, rich and beautiful, beautiful in looks as well as ways. In the old testament, God constantly talked about prosperity and richness.
Deuteronomy 8:18 But thou shalt remember the Lord thy God: for it is he that giveth theee power to get wealthy, that he may establish his convenant which he swore unto thy fathers, as it is this day.
Joshua 1:8 This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth, but thou shall mediate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein for then thous shalt make thy way prosperous and then thou shal have good success.
Proverbs 10:22 The blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich and he addeth no sorrow with it.
In the new testament, Jesus also continued the conversation of prosperity.
John 10:10 The theif cometh not, but for to steal and kill and to destroy: I am come that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly.
So when I looked up the words, abundant and prosperity in the dictionary. Abundance means a quantity that is more than enough, plenty. Abundant means more that enough, plentiful, having plenty of something, rich.
Prosperous means financially successful. When God and Jesus talked about abundance and prosperity, meaning that the person, was abundant in all areas of their lives, so they would have an abundant relationship with their spouses and they would have abundant relationship with their children and they would have abundance in their bank accounts, so they would not have to want for anything. They would have abundant health, a new house, lots of clothes, shoes, or whatever they wanted. They would be blessed with material wealth and well as spiritual wealth. A person would live a wholesome life, they have a sound mind, sound body, sound wealth and sound health, nothing missing, nothing lacking. They should be whole. They should have peace, they should have Shalom, which is a Hebrew word, which is more that just peace, what every they need they should have, deliverance, righteousness, prosperity, health, wealth, happiness, joy.
So anyone who tells you that money doesn't not make you happy, they are ususally people who have money, in that case you should answere, 'you give me all your money', you would soon see, how they would react. Proverty is a miserable existence, it is horrible, boring, dull, painful, unbearable. Poverty leads to illness, sickness, it destroy marriages, the family. We have to bring heaven on earth. We all know that we will eventually leave this mortal realm, but while you are living here, you want to live a full, abundant, prosperous, success, rich and plentiful life. Say out it loud, 'I am rich', 'I am a billionaire' and confess this to yourself that you are a billionaire and imaging your billionaire lifestyle, your fabulous wedding, your gorgeous husband or wife, your beautiful children, your houses in the Hamptons and Caribbean, your yatchs in Monte Carlo, shopping trips to Paris, going to fashion shows in Milan, skiing in Switzerland or Aspen, USA. and when all that money is manifested in your life, help other people to have the wealthy lifestyle also, building schools, universities, and hospitals, praising in God's name. As Jesus said in Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God: and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. That can be anything from growing your hair long, buying a house, appying for a job, writing first your novel or whatever you choose to do. The more you discuss and ask advice, you start to get wisdom and wisdom saves a whole lot of time and energy. Some of us come from backgrounds, where our family like toil and hardship, if it is not hard, it is not good, but when it is hard and prolonging, it is a waste of time and energy. Life is too just short. You want to live a full, live it loud and large! travel the world. Don't let anyone tell you, that you shouldn't have it, or it can't be done, or it is impossible. Mark 10:27....With men, it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible. The God we serve, likes big things, he loves expansion, growth, development, he loves variety, look at the different races of people, different trees, flowers, plants, herbs, animals, he likes to share in our dreams, he likes to be part of our plans. He likes to listen to our ideas, but religion makes us put him in the distance future, remote, far off, not relevant to our lives now, but having a relationship with God, he is in the present, the now. So if you want to get the car, or fly that plane, ask God to how to do it and he will guide you. He will grant you favour and bless you, so that your life will be rich beyond your wildest dreams.
So make your vision boards and stick pictures of your husband, your wife, your children, your houses, gardens, yatches, aeroplanes, money, your businesses.
Habakkuk 2:2-3 And the Lord answered me and said: Write the vision and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth and for the vision is yet for an appointed time , but at the end, it shall speak and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry. Speak to your vision board, talk to your vision, it, think it, surround yourself with like minded people and call your vision into being.
Romans 4:17b And calleth those things which be not as though they were. Ask believe and receive and thank God for your husband/wife, children, houses, properties, money, riches, bank accounts overflowing with so much money that the bank has to ask you to borrow money.
Ephesians 3:20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that I ask or think, according to the power that worketh in me.

Friday, 11 July 2008

Taking back our beauty and owning it and loving it

All women from various ethnic groups are beautiful. There is beauty in all races. This is not a statement, this is a fact, and we must recognise so. We live in an abundant earth. The God, who created us, loves variety, and especially people, that is why Elohim created so many races of people. There is something unique about black women, there are at least 74 shades of the black skin, from very fair to very dark, our hair texture is also unique, it can range from very curly to spongy, woolly, the coil pattern is so different, there are kinks, curls and coils on the same strand of hair and if you look at the black hair under the microscope, you can see a radiation of light coming from it. It seems to have this energy coming from off it. Another thing which is unique to black people's hair, is the shrinkage. Afro textured hair may appear short, growth may be up to the shoulders, but if the hair is stretched out, the length is much longer, than expected. We tend to have a more thicker frame, even if we are very slim, thicker buttocks, thighs, fullness of lips, wider nose.
The first time, Europeans met Africans, there have always been a fascination about the African skin and in the Roman times, many artists painted pictures, and sculptures were made of African people. Due to slavery and colonialism, the accepted forms of beauty was white skin and blonde hair, but still there was an obsession of the black form, even though eurocentric media tried to make out that eurocentric beauty this was the ideal beauty, still there was something always a fascination about black beauty. Due to changing attitudes, all types of beauty is now accepted and even though there are beauty magazines for European, Asian, Hispanic African and Native peoples of the world, still in main stream modelling and the fashion media, there are very few people of colour being represented, despite 1970s, 80s and 90s, there were quite a few black runway models, such as Beverly Johnson, Iman, Beverly Peele, Veronica Webb, Pat Cleveland, Gail O'Neill, Karen Alexandra, Grace Jones, Tyra Banks. At one Paris and Milan catwalks had a lot of black models. In 2008 although we see a lot of Noemie Lenoir, Yasmin Warsame, Chanel Iman, Ubah, Toccara Jones, Liya Kebede, Alva Chin, Arlenis Sosa, Jourdan Dunn, Kiara kabukuru, yet because there have been so very few black models, the Italian issue of July edition of Vogue, is featuring only African or African descent models. I was lucky to get my issue, my daughter went and got it in Selfridges, a large department store in the West End shopping area. Apparently, the manager rang us this morning to let us know that the magazine had come in. Selfridges ordered 250 copies, when he rang, already 50 had been sold, and by the time Ayodele got our copy, 100 had already been sold. This issue had made a lot of news, Borders said they had a lot of interest, one Asian shopkeeper ordered 80 copies and he was telling me, what an exciting issue it would be. The Italian edition was delayed, because of this massive interest. Advertising in this issue has gone up 30% . It is nice that there is a copy in main stream magazine like Vogue, showing how beautiful black women are, but we always knew we were anyway. It is also rather ironic again, it is the Italians like the Romans showing interest in African beauty, the editor decided are taking the initiative to do this issue, also using Toccara Jones, who is very curvaceous woman.
I would like more black women to break away from the mental brainwashing and realise they are absolutely very beautiful. It does not matter what shade of black you are, you are still beautiful. The more you love yourself, not in a self indulgent way, but in a Godly way, you love the God in you. The ladies I have chosen such as Toccara Jones, a Nigerian beauty, Yvette Nisiah, she represents Miss Ghana in the Miss Universe 2008, Stacey McKenzie who is Jamaican born from Kingston, a successful Canadian fashion model, writer television presenter and actress and she starred in the film 'The 5Th Element' Measha Brueggergosman, a Canadian classical soprano, and Alek Wek another successful African model, author, represent our diverse spectrum.
At one time, having a big bottom, full lips, we were regarded as a bit of a freak show, for example Sara Baartman, who came to Europe from South Africa, when she was 20, where she was exhibited naked, for doctors and scientists to look at her, within five years at the age of 25, she was died from loneliness and disease and even in death, she did not have any dignity, after she died, her brain, skeleton and vagina, were cut out and put into jars for more people to look examine. Jennifer Lopez's bottom can be celebrated, but ordinary black women who have large bottoms are regarded as fat. Now non-black women are getting boobs jobs and yes they want the round bottoms too, and the fuller lips also.
We are now in a position to control our own images, we don't have to be video vixens, we don't have to starve ourselves either, and look like skin and bone, because we are not, we just need to love ourselves and our skins, our hair and we can attract men, the first thing they will notice is our beauty, when they get to know us, our character, we can attract quality men to, and if we meet men who only want us for sex, we do not pursue the relationship, because we will never be satisfied, let them go on their way and a man more worthy of us will come along. We are fearfully and wonderfully made and we have to power to take back what is ours and celebrate our bodies and how wonderfully we have been created by The Royal majesty Elohim.

Thursday, 26 June 2008

Who are the angry black women and where do they live?

Do these ladies look angry to you? Okay, you can argue, I picked pictures of smiling politicians and one supermodel. This was prompted by another blogger Hopelessly Sarcastic, Allow me to introduce my angry black female self. One of the reporters, mentioned that Maxine Waters is angry, Cynthia McKinney is angry, Michelle Obama is angry and the black anchor women, who are on the television are always angry and black women in general are angry. Wow! now that is a sweeping statement. It seems to be the norm to accept that all black women are angry. Angry according to the Oxford Dictionary definition of the word, means the strong feeling caused by extreme displeasure. The emotion anger is neither positive or negative, it is a neutral emotion, meaning it can be used to bring positive or negative results. All the women shown here are well spoken, articulate and they can express themselves clearly. Women tend to have more communicative than men. There is a problem of having black women who can express themselves well, certain sections of the media like to say that they are 'angry'. Angry is an emotion that is felt by everybody. If we look in the bible, everyone got angry, Cain was angry with Abel, Noah got angry at Ham, Abraham and Lot quarrelled, Sarah got angry at Hagar, Esau got angry with Jacob. Jacob got angry with Laban, Rachel and Leah were angry at each other. Joseph's brothers were angry with him. Moses was angry with people of Israel. God was angry with them that is why they wondered for 40 years and only Caleb and Joshua were able to get into the promised land. There were other incidents, when God got angry, David got angry, Jesus got angry with the money changers in the temple. Women get angry, men get angry, children get angry and even babies get angry. Every woman and man of every race is entitled to get angry. However when black women get angry, we are know as 'the angry black woman', or there is a sweeping statements, black women are always angry. Black women are mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, cousins. So does that mean, every day every black woman wakes up, angry, she goes to bed angry and she is angry in the times between sun raise and sunset. Even some black men are saying 'black women have too much attitude, they talk too much, they are too strong willed, and yada, yada, ya!. So what is the reality of the 'angry black woman'. When I got divorced, I was upset, but I did get angry, when ex-husband accused me of harassing him, which I did not, because I left his home and went to my parents house and I did get angry when my barrister accused me of a being a bitter black woman. My daughter who is 20 years and she is going to university in September, I asked her, if I was an angry black woman, she said that I'm always laughing and her father is always angry. I also noticed when I was growing up, my father was always angry, he was always quarrelling with someone and even at now at 82, he is still angry and he shouts and screams. The black men who scream abuse at black women from various 'organizations' the so-called God messengers, they are angry, others rant about black women on you tube from them wearing weaves to them interracially dating and marrying non-black men. They are angry, the lyrics of some hip hop artists, singing about their bitches and hoes, sounds very angry to me, however someone told me, I must not take it like that, it is a form of endearment, according to the Oxford dictionary, endearment is a word or words expressing love. So these black gentlemen are expressing words of love to their lady friends, by calling them bitches and hoes. I learn something new everyday. Some of the black male blogs, I visited, had a lot of men were very angry with Barack Obama's Father's Day speech, there was a young black men on Fox News, complaining that Barack Obama was speaking to the wrong people, and he was extremely furious about it, a lot of men were annoyed especially when he mentioned that many men have low expectations of themselves, saying like, 'at least I got a job, at least I'm not in jail or at least I don't chase after women, drink or smoke'. 'How dare he', as one man said, he made the speech to look down at black people to say that he is better than them and why did he have to go in such a large church, there were plenty of smaller churches he could have spoken in.
The Punk Rock music was another angry music genre, which was anti-establishment rock music, the music was loud, their members could not really play and as for singing. Well I have to say, their members liked that type of music, with names like Johnny Rotten and Sid Vicious members of the Sex Pistols, it is not to fill you with feelings of love and warmth, just aggression and angry. We never hear about angry white men or angry white boys or angry black men or angry black boys, but everyone knows about angry black women. 'I like black women...but they just bit hard to handle...I mean they are always angry'. I have been told, 'I'm a nice black woman...but the rest...they're just....they bit your ears off'. I would be very curious to know who put the rumour about all black women being ' angry black women'.
Naomi Campbell has been know for her incidents of violence. In August 1998, she was the first black model on the cover of Vogue Paris, the first black model on the cover of Vogue UK, Vogue Nippon and Time magazine. Sam McKnight, the famous hairdresser, say that Naomi was a pleasure to work with. Jeff Banks, a British designer said that the media don't seem to realise that Naomi Campbell is the only model who does British Fashion week for free. On 3rd April 2008, she was arrested inside Heathrow's Terminal 5 on suspicion of assaulting a police officer, because her baggage had been lost, she had that her reaction was to the fact that one of the BA staff called her a Golliwog supermodel, she said that it was not any of the passengers. She has apologised to the police. BA has banned her from using their flights globally and she has refused to apologise to BA, she had been sentenced to do 200 hours of community service. She and the media have a very troubled relationship and it started the moment, she became very successful model, being the first British and black woman, a reporter wanted to know where did Naomi's mother get the money to buy her house in Streatham, South West London and go to private school etc. The reporter also alleged that she was threatened by the orders of Robert De Niro. Since 1997, she had been involved in charity work for children and people of Sub-Saharan Africa and she worked with Nelson Mandela, she raised millions of dollars for Hurricane Karina.
Diane Abbot MP (member of Parliament) also has the tag of 'angry black woman'. The first black woman to be elected in the general election of 1987, it was not until 1997 that the Black and Jewish MP Oona King joined her.
Nyamo Sabuni is a Swedish politician, and currently serving as the Minister for Integration and Gender Equality in Swedish government.
Maxine Waters, she has also been referred to 'an angry black woman' served as a democratic member of the United States House of Representatives since 1991.
Michelle Obama, also referred as 'an angry black woman', she will be the first black woman to be first lady in the White House, Princeton and Harvard educated.
Cynthia McKinney also has the reference 'angry black woman' is an American politician and Green party candidate.
Patrica Janet Scotland, Baroness Scotland of Asthal. PC , QC, Privy Counsel and Queen Counsel respectively. She is a barrister and current attorney general for England and Wales, she has a ministerial position in the British Government. She was the first black woman to be made Queen's Counsel.
So now the truth about 'the angry black woman' and where do they live. You will find angry black women, with nasty attitudes, anywhere and everywhere, and they live all over the world, but you will find women of all races with nasty attitudes and they too live all over the world. You will get 'angry black women', but not all black women are angry. The majority of black women are smart, intelligent, sweet, very feminine, softly spoken, they laugh out loud, they go to church and they love God and Jesus. Black women get married, they have children and they have husbands who love them. They are stylish, they love to shop, they love supermarkets, shopping malls, they love fashion, make-up and shoes. So they are like lots of other women, the only thing they are black, they are from African descent. The media corporations want to feature one type of woman, the loud, aggressive, uneducated ladies, but ladies who are intelligent, well spoken, articulate and can express their point effectively and clearly are regarded as 'the angry black woman'. Black women are entitled to say what they feel in a dignified manner, because black women have experienced racism prejudice and we have to work twice or three times as hard to prove ourselves. If other people don't like it, too bad. When I used to do temping jobs, or any other jobs, I always had to prove myself, they would assume that I would fail and when I didn't, they would ask, why am I so nice, kind, soft and I would say nice things. I would say that my parents trained me that way, because of this box system, some media corporations and even black people themselves, feel that black women who are educated, speak nicely, articulate, confident, successful and are beautiful are 'acting white'. This goes to show the level of ignorance some people have, without education, there would not be any fashion designers, hair dressers, inventors, lawyers, engineers, architects, landscape gardeners, doctors, lawyers, preachers, rabbis, business owners, writers, scientists. These women, these black women made our world and more interesting and fascinating place. Black women have opened their eyes and they realise that the world is an abundance place and as the daughters of the most High God,
El El yon, they are entitled to the richness of the land, regardless of what anyone says, it is theirs, it is mine, it is yours, for the taking. We just have to ask, receive and believe, because if we can think it, we can create it, with God on our side. We are already winners.

Tuesday, 10 June 2008

The attack of the Black women and how do we fight back

I have noticed that Black women are being attacked, and the attacks are constant, vicious and abusive. I don't really know what we done to deserve this. We are attacked, because if we are educated and speak and act polished. We are told that we are not black enough, we are attacked because we are marrying men from different races. We are called sellouts and traitors. We are attacked because instead of concentrating on what white women do and focusing to them, because there are hardly any black woman on main stream magazine covers, very few are in the film industry, instead we have magazines and blogs to address our needs. We are setting up our own film industry. We put our money, in our own projects. We are being accused of white women protectionism and we forget what Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King did for us, so that we can enjoy the freedom, we have now. We have less privilege than white women and why are we protecting them and that is why few white men approach us, because they don't consider us sexy.
Usher is married and has a lovely wife Tameka, she is being attacked, because she is not pretty enough for him, and she is too dark. We are being attacked for all the ills of the black community. We are being attacked because we are loud mouth, ghetto and fat and that is why black men don't want us. We are attacked because some hip hop songs call us hos and bitches. We are attacked because we are not quite is considered beautiful. Black models find it harder to get work. It seems to be, it is in a lot of peoples interest, to have the pity party for the black woman. 'Poor black women', their men don't want them, other men from other groups don't want them. People are looking for the 'angry black woman'. Her life is full of hardship and toil.
Let us look at the reality of things, even though 70% of black women are single, there is 60% of black men who is single also. Black women are twice as likely to be educated up to degree level and beyond than white women. In the blog world, I have meet many black women, who are married to non-black men, so saying that non-black men don't find black women attractive, is a big lie. Also black men who are married to black women and raising wonderful children. Black women are most likely to have start their own businesses. The majority of black women are taking the lives in their hands and living it to the full. They are breaking out of their mental chains and in order to have change, they must make changes themselves. They have the anointing of David, Daniel, Debra, Abigail, Solomon and Moses. They have been made for a time like this. Inspirational women of our time are Bessie Coleman, Michelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Diane Abbott MP (Memberof Parliament, UK), Baroness of Scotland, member of the UK cabinet. Nyamko Sabuni, Government minister for Integration and Gender Equality Swedish MP, Shaznay Lewis, lead singer and song writer of the group 'All Saints'. Estelle felt that her record company was not promoting her properly, she met Kanye West and asked him to get in touch with John Legend and the rest is history, American Boy was a big hit in UK and USA. Jill Scott, Malorie Blackman, Leslie Esdaile-Banks, Sandra Kitt, Lisa Price owner of Carol's daughter, Anita Grant, she had her own on-line beauty business and my list would go on and on. Cupcake Brown, came from a terrible background of sexual abuse and prostitution from a very young age, she was a gang member and an alcoholic, she became a successful lawyer and now she is a motivational speaker and engaged to be married. The reason for these attacks, is because black women realise their self worth, they realise that they are beautiful women, they have started to celebrate their beauty. They can anything, they want to be, whatever they set their minds to. The sky's the limit. So they are getting on with their lives, their husbands, children and their passions and they are happy. They will always be the angry ones, the bitter ones, but the majority are a success. That is why it is so scary to some angry black men, some angry black women, some angry white women and some angry white men. The best revenge on your enemies is success and your enemies will talk about you day and night, because they can't sleep at night, and you can, because as Proverbs 10:22 states you have the blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich and he addeth no sorrow with it.

Friday, 30 May 2008

Images of Us and how we really see ourselves

There are various images portrayed in the media, from the asexual black mammy Aunt Jemima types, hip hop girls to the hip hop porn girls. So where does the real women fit in all this stereotype. The top image is of Dove soap, they ran a campaign of real women, no touching up and they got members of the public to be in their campaign, although people welcomed it, however many did not like it, is it because they are so use to airbrush females, with no flaws. Jennifer Hudson is a lovely woman of our times, she is curvaceous and she is like an everyday woman, she is comfortable with her size and she looks lovely, nice smile, glossy hair. The famous Video vixen, with her ample bottom, usually found hip hop videos, not all but the more sexual ones. Teena Taylor is a hip hop artist, she is pretty, a teenager and she models also, she writes her own material. Hattie McDaniel, the most famous maid, the ultimate black mammy and Aunt Jemima, she is fat, asexual and she is non-threatening, well she would be, because she is too busy looking after Miss Southern Belle, Scarlett O'Hara. Buffy the body, would be found in King magazine and other male magazines, as Sir Mix-a-lot said from his song 'Baby got back'. He was celebrating the black female bottom, while Cosmo magazine was trying to tell us that we were just fat, he was saying that is the shape of black women. From the Africa, South America, West Indies, women with their ample in their bottoms are living perfectly normal lives, they are married have children, some get divorced and get married again. Grannie is her eigthies, still looking hot with her ample bottom . I was born and brought up in England, United Kingdom. My parents came from Guyana, South America. As soon as I became a teenager and my breasts and bottom grew. I was told that my breasts were too big and so was my bottom, and my mother would tell me, I have the body of my ancestors and we are from good stock, also it is amazing how African features, full lips, our nose, our skin, our breasts, we were characterised as being whores, while the other girls, who were mostly white were virgins, which was not true of course, most of the girls at my school were no longer virgins by the time, they were fourteen. They knew about French kissing by the time, they were twelve. The two middle pictures are of two African women, an ordinary woman and the Ethiopian/Israeli model Esti Mamo, the last pictures is of Esther Baxter, who was a video vixen, changed to clothes modeling and now, she has given up modelling and she is gone back to college. She is was married, but her husband could not deal with the attention, she was getting, so they got divorced. There are two images that the media love, of black women is the mammy and the whore. Have you know noticed in all the main stream films, black women can only be play best friends to the lead character, although she may be slim, still she again is the black mammy, she is asexual. Although African American/African/Caribbean media are taking back their images of how they want to see us, their women, other companies like BET have been highly criticized from the showing black women as video vixens, again the whore, slappers, sluts. We know that all women in all races have prostitutes. Even black people themselves seem to get caught up in the illusion, that if a black woman is educated, listens to classical music, visits art galleries, reads speaks correct English, is is acting white, somehow being ignorant, loud, listening to Snoop Dog, 50 Cent, dancing in a dance hall style, speaking badly, she is acting black. I went to see a friend a few years ago and I remarked about the amount of books, she had and she told me that I was the first person, who showed any interest in her books, because a black young man told her that because she has a lot of books in her house, she would only date white guys, which is certainly not true. We forget that we have African american and black writers, poets, scientists, doctors, lawyer, preachers, businessman and women, architects, fashion designers, Rabbis, there is a African American female Rabbi in training in Israel right now. Where did we get this notion that marriage is for 'white people'. Marriage is for everybody. Why does 50 cent, Nelly, Snoop Dog, get more publicity, as compared to Jill Scott, who is a brilliant songwriter and singer, why are we so focused on R Kelly and everyone knows what he was like. We criticize Beyonce and Rhianna, saying that they are fake, or maybe Beyonce has more credibility because she is know married to Jay-Z. Black women seem to be under attack from the enemies within and the outside world. We don't get the protection that other women get. Our so-called leaders are a big let down, they do not protect us. So what do we do? We form alliances with people who care about us, and others who don't, we distance ourselves from them. We are here to make a change, but not to save people. We make changes in our own lives and others around either will change themselves or we have to move on without them. Everyone is responsible for his or own stewardship.

Friday, 16 May 2008

Relationships, Weddings and Marriage

Relationships, weddings and marriages
Relationships, weddings and marriages have changed over the last forty years. There is something wonderful about people falling in love, getting married. I remember when I was younger, I would go to a lot of weddings. We are living in a time, in which our major cities, like London, Manchester, New York, California, Stockholm, Paris and other countries have people of many different nationalities and many faiths. So it is understandable that people will fall in love with people of different races. Physical attraction is the first thing, you notice about the person, height, colour of eyes, colour of hair, shape of the body, then after the initial attraction, people start to get to know each other, the sense of humour, the little things etc, people do for each other. The excitement being with each other. I have visited a lot of blogs done by black women who are interracial marriages, they would write about the happiness of their marriages, the funny things that happen in their life, and even though their husbands would drive them crazy, the more years they spend with their husbands, they are more in love with their husbands, then ever. However unfortunately there is the dark side, people verbally abusing each other, calling them sellouts, traitors and the language of abuse, swearing, cursing.
I remember one time, when I was working, an English man, who was blond and had blue eyes, married an Italian, she had long hair hair and dark eyes. Matthew had pictures of Isabella, all over his computer and work area. They were married for only a year and he gushed about Isabella, he loved the way her hair moved when she walked and I saw pictures of her, he kept in his wallet, she was expecting their first child. He was so happy. Sharon was also English, she was blonde hair and blue hair, she was also married and had two children of her own. She became obsessed with Matthew, she 'fancied him like crazy' and she said that he should not have married his wife, because he was blond and she was dark. They didn't look good together and now that his wife is pregnant, the children won't look good. I said that he is in love with his wife. She replied 'yes, I know but some people need guidance', and then she went on to discuss why she didn't approve of interracial marriages, the only thing, she would say that the children is mixed raced couples were beautiful. I started to look at this further, some black men get mad when they see black women with white and non-black men, they justify the fact that the ladies are 'settling' and one man on youtube felt that if the 'brothas' sorted themselves out, many of the black women who return to the black men. You get black women angry, that white women are taking the few black men that are left, because there is so much statistics about there is so few available of decent black men, the rest are in prisons, on drugs, have many baby mothers and are bisexual. There is a shortage of 'good black men' and if they are dating other white and non-black women, the women feel that their chance for marriage is gone. You get white women who are equally hysterical, because the white man they want is with a black woman, the flirting, flouting, is just over the top. Women who have broken up with their boyfriend over a year, since when they hear he is now has a black girlfriend, fiancee or wife, suddenly want to be friends with their ex-boyfriends, some actually confront the women about her relationship and 'I can't believe that he would be with someone like you', or 'are you really together'. 'I didn't think, that he was your type'. Then you get people analysing the interracial relationships, why would he like her, why would she like him, they are not suited and they would carry on like if they are relationship experts. Even in same race relationship, we as a society don't want husband and wives spend time together, society puts a strain on marriages, husbands and wives can spend time with their families and friends, but not each other. No wonder sometimes the divorce rate is high, sometimes I wonder if we really want marriages or just partnerships to produce children. Our religious institutions have not helped at all, in some cases they have made matters worse.
I would say that the statistics are a lot of rubbish, there are plenty, decent black, white, asian or what ever you want in the world. There is plenty women out there too, who are kind, wonderful women. There are beautiful men and women in all races. One of the names of God is El Shaddai, which is Hebrew from God Almighty. God Almighty likes things big and he loves variety. He has give us an abundance of men and women to pick from, we just have to pick the right person for us. Variety is the spice of life. So whatever man or women you want they are available to you, you just have to believe. You shouldn't use other people eyes to tell you that you are beautiful, regardless of the media tells you, if you know you are beautiful, you are beautiful. See your beautiful from your own eyes. Be with a man or woman who you really like, don't sell yourself short, because you will be disappointed. Don't be with someone, who you are expected to be with, if your family, friends don't like it, well they are not living your life. Unfortunately our family want the best for us, but sometimes they don't always know what is best for us, we and we alone have to decide that for ourselves. As for our friends sometimes we outgrow them, they want different things, and we have to accept that.
Where to people learn about relationships? from their own parents, they look at their friends. I honestly now realise that there is a sizable amount of people who marry for what they can get, and have never married because they love each other, so when they see people of different races or same racial groups, husbands and wives who actually are in love and still in love after five, ten or numerous amount of years, jealousy raises it ugly head and they see what they don't have in their own lives. It is easy to draw on the different racial groups, because you can see the difference in colour, but with same racial group, what do you look for, she is dark and you are blond, you don't look good together, or she is dark skinned and he is light skinned. Dark skinned women are not attractive, and your children won't have nice hair. People are too busy concentrating on the physical aspects and they can't see the deeper aspect, they are just good together, they are both happy, really happy. He maybe was never a smiler, but since he is married, he smiles more, she is always laughing. He adores his children. With his children, he can be a boy again and can play with them. He can take his sons to football and she can take her daughter shopping and they can get their hair done together. Even though he and she will have their different tastes, yet he likes her company, they still go out on dates. I know a man who loved Valentines, because he loved picking the chocolates, so he and his wife could enjoy them, she loves the strawberry filled centres and he loves the nut centre chocolates and people would argue there was not need for that after they have been married for over thirty years, but he argued it was a must for them.
The two people who inspired me is the story about was Mr and Mrs Richard and Mildred Loving, when the lawyers asked them to come to the Supreme court to hear their verdict, he said that they wouldn't come, but he told the lawyers, they must tell the court. 'I love my wife', and that what boils down to it. He loves his wife, she loves her husband. What every physical differences they have if long dark hair, dark eyes, light eyes, light hair spongy hair, soft skin, skin colours in chocolate, vanilla, caramel, mocha, mahoney, golden, beige, peach, magnolia. They love each other.

Sunday, 4 May 2008

My hair

I have my hair natural. I have been natural for nearly six years now, and I love it. It is so easy for me to look after my hair. I use Aloe vera gel, castor oil, extra virgin oil, MSM, glycerine and rosewater. My favourite styles are usually twists, flat twists and bunti knots.

I rinse daily, using conditioner about one teaspoon, about small amount of MSM, aloe vera gel and I add some glycerine and rosewater, all this is added to a bottle of 50 ml, I put a little water to mix the contents thoroughly, then add distilled water to fill the bottle. I put a stocking on my hair and pour my rinse over my hair, wrap my hair with a towel, after I finished showering, my hair would be damp and I add a castor oil, aloe vera gel mixture to my roots. I try to massage my hair daily.