Friday, 16 May 2008

Relationships, Weddings and Marriage

Relationships, weddings and marriages
Relationships, weddings and marriages have changed over the last forty years. There is something wonderful about people falling in love, getting married. I remember when I was younger, I would go to a lot of weddings. We are living in a time, in which our major cities, like London, Manchester, New York, California, Stockholm, Paris and other countries have people of many different nationalities and many faiths. So it is understandable that people will fall in love with people of different races. Physical attraction is the first thing, you notice about the person, height, colour of eyes, colour of hair, shape of the body, then after the initial attraction, people start to get to know each other, the sense of humour, the little things etc, people do for each other. The excitement being with each other. I have visited a lot of blogs done by black women who are interracial marriages, they would write about the happiness of their marriages, the funny things that happen in their life, and even though their husbands would drive them crazy, the more years they spend with their husbands, they are more in love with their husbands, then ever. However unfortunately there is the dark side, people verbally abusing each other, calling them sellouts, traitors and the language of abuse, swearing, cursing.
I remember one time, when I was working, an English man, who was blond and had blue eyes, married an Italian, she had long hair hair and dark eyes. Matthew had pictures of Isabella, all over his computer and work area. They were married for only a year and he gushed about Isabella, he loved the way her hair moved when she walked and I saw pictures of her, he kept in his wallet, she was expecting their first child. He was so happy. Sharon was also English, she was blonde hair and blue hair, she was also married and had two children of her own. She became obsessed with Matthew, she 'fancied him like crazy' and she said that he should not have married his wife, because he was blond and she was dark. They didn't look good together and now that his wife is pregnant, the children won't look good. I said that he is in love with his wife. She replied 'yes, I know but some people need guidance', and then she went on to discuss why she didn't approve of interracial marriages, the only thing, she would say that the children is mixed raced couples were beautiful. I started to look at this further, some black men get mad when they see black women with white and non-black men, they justify the fact that the ladies are 'settling' and one man on youtube felt that if the 'brothas' sorted themselves out, many of the black women who return to the black men. You get black women angry, that white women are taking the few black men that are left, because there is so much statistics about there is so few available of decent black men, the rest are in prisons, on drugs, have many baby mothers and are bisexual. There is a shortage of 'good black men' and if they are dating other white and non-black women, the women feel that their chance for marriage is gone. You get white women who are equally hysterical, because the white man they want is with a black woman, the flirting, flouting, is just over the top. Women who have broken up with their boyfriend over a year, since when they hear he is now has a black girlfriend, fiancee or wife, suddenly want to be friends with their ex-boyfriends, some actually confront the women about her relationship and 'I can't believe that he would be with someone like you', or 'are you really together'. 'I didn't think, that he was your type'. Then you get people analysing the interracial relationships, why would he like her, why would she like him, they are not suited and they would carry on like if they are relationship experts. Even in same race relationship, we as a society don't want husband and wives spend time together, society puts a strain on marriages, husbands and wives can spend time with their families and friends, but not each other. No wonder sometimes the divorce rate is high, sometimes I wonder if we really want marriages or just partnerships to produce children. Our religious institutions have not helped at all, in some cases they have made matters worse.
I would say that the statistics are a lot of rubbish, there are plenty, decent black, white, asian or what ever you want in the world. There is plenty women out there too, who are kind, wonderful women. There are beautiful men and women in all races. One of the names of God is El Shaddai, which is Hebrew from God Almighty. God Almighty likes things big and he loves variety. He has give us an abundance of men and women to pick from, we just have to pick the right person for us. Variety is the spice of life. So whatever man or women you want they are available to you, you just have to believe. You shouldn't use other people eyes to tell you that you are beautiful, regardless of the media tells you, if you know you are beautiful, you are beautiful. See your beautiful from your own eyes. Be with a man or woman who you really like, don't sell yourself short, because you will be disappointed. Don't be with someone, who you are expected to be with, if your family, friends don't like it, well they are not living your life. Unfortunately our family want the best for us, but sometimes they don't always know what is best for us, we and we alone have to decide that for ourselves. As for our friends sometimes we outgrow them, they want different things, and we have to accept that.
Where to people learn about relationships? from their own parents, they look at their friends. I honestly now realise that there is a sizable amount of people who marry for what they can get, and have never married because they love each other, so when they see people of different races or same racial groups, husbands and wives who actually are in love and still in love after five, ten or numerous amount of years, jealousy raises it ugly head and they see what they don't have in their own lives. It is easy to draw on the different racial groups, because you can see the difference in colour, but with same racial group, what do you look for, she is dark and you are blond, you don't look good together, or she is dark skinned and he is light skinned. Dark skinned women are not attractive, and your children won't have nice hair. People are too busy concentrating on the physical aspects and they can't see the deeper aspect, they are just good together, they are both happy, really happy. He maybe was never a smiler, but since he is married, he smiles more, she is always laughing. He adores his children. With his children, he can be a boy again and can play with them. He can take his sons to football and she can take her daughter shopping and they can get their hair done together. Even though he and she will have their different tastes, yet he likes her company, they still go out on dates. I know a man who loved Valentines, because he loved picking the chocolates, so he and his wife could enjoy them, she loves the strawberry filled centres and he loves the nut centre chocolates and people would argue there was not need for that after they have been married for over thirty years, but he argued it was a must for them.
The two people who inspired me is the story about was Mr and Mrs Richard and Mildred Loving, when the lawyers asked them to come to the Supreme court to hear their verdict, he said that they wouldn't come, but he told the lawyers, they must tell the court. 'I love my wife', and that what boils down to it. He loves his wife, she loves her husband. What every physical differences they have if long dark hair, dark eyes, light eyes, light hair spongy hair, soft skin, skin colours in chocolate, vanilla, caramel, mocha, mahoney, golden, beige, peach, magnolia. They love each other.


Tania said...

Nice post! I agree wholeheartedly! I was never one for statistics. It's a shame to see some young sisters buying into it. There's a big wide world out there! it's ours for the taking, if we want it.

Felicity said...

Thanks Tania, I just feel it is demonic brain washing, to get us stuck and trapped.

B_More BAP Life said...

I was talking to a girlfriend of mine about this very topic today. We concluded that we would not limit ourselves, but leave the romantic department open for all races.......Great Topic!

Felicity said...

Thanks B_more bap life
We fail to realise that there are millions and millions of men out there! The course of endless!

1/3 of what I used to be said...

I absolutely loved this post! I agree with everything you said. It does seem like everyone is concerned with physical aspects of their partners. I learned a long time ago not to limit myself as to who I date. It all just boils down to what makes me happy. If i'm happy, he's happy. he's a keeper lol. thats my motto lol

Felicity said...

1/3 of what I used to be
I think that is problem with many people they look on the outer experiences and they don't want to see what people have for each other.

Don said...

the story about was Mr and Mrs Richard and Mildred Loving

Yes. I also read about this story. It was very touching. And it just goes to show the power of love. I am under the impression that a woman should be allowed to enjoy the affection of a woman, no matter the skin color.

Felicity said...

Thanks Don, Mr and Mrs Loving is very touchy. I feel that men should be with a woman, they really love regards of skin colour and the same with the woman!

Pirouette said...

I read your comment on Siddity and came to this post. It really ministered to me. Thank you!

Felicity said...

Thank you for your comment!

Suesue said...

Hey :-) thanks for commenting and your concern i am great now !!!

Your post about Relationships is really beautiful. Can i know where you get those products you use? Can you get it in any hair shop in London or you have to go to certain ones?

good luck with the chronicles of narnia...sounds like it's gonna be big !

Felicity said...

Thank for coming and your comments. The products I use such as castor oil, can be got from any beauty store, glycerine, rosewater also are available from any beauty store, also you can get them in the local supermarket, like Tesco. Aloe vera gel, I get from Holland and Barratt, also other independant health shops or you can get the leaf from Shepherd's bush market, but you have to store it in the fridge. The other Asian herbs such as amla and brahmi powders are available in Southhall, there is a wide selection. MSM available in Holland and Barratt and other independant health shops.

rebecca said...

Sweet And Low


Sweet and low, sweet and low,

Wind of the western sea, ,

Low, low, breathe and blow,

Wind of the western sea!

Over the rolling waters go,

Come from the dying moon, and blow,

Blow him again to me;

While my little one, while my pretty one, sleeps.


Sleep and rest, sleep and rest,

Father will come to thee soon;

Rest, rest, on mother's breast,

Father will come to his babe in the nest,

Silver sails all out of the west

Under the silver moon;

Sleep, my little one, sleep, my pretty one, sleep.

-----by age of conan

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